Pesach

Pesach

Nissan 15, 5772 ~ April 7, 2012

by Neska

With Thanks to Hashem For Sheila and me turning 73...

Yirat Hashem (fear/awe) is the beginning of all things. It says, "The beginning of wisdom is awe of Hashem." Yirat Hashem comes from recognizing that the world is a creation on the deepest of all levels. From Rebbetzin Tzipporah Heller. I underline recognizing because she does not say understanding: that is beyond me.

I have left my home

I can hardly believe it

I can't believe it

but I know it is so because

I am no longer there.

I am following a man called Moshe

who grew up in the house of Paro

Still he is a Jew

as I am a Jew – whatever that means.

I remember my parents telling me that

this Hashem made a promise to their ancestors

and their ancestors before them

that one day

one day

this Hashem would hear our crying and moaning

and

this Hashem would remember

this Hashem would remember that he made a promise

to bring us out of Egypt

and take us to a Holy Land

where we would be free to live our lives with

this Hashem.

I can hardly believe it.

I am walking out of Egypt with at least a million people – (I have heard that 80% stayed behind)

and we are trusting

this man Moshe to take us to this

Holy Land

and I don't know how long it will take

and I don't know how we will get there

but I feel inside

that I must trust

this feeling

this small voice

this glimmer in my body

that simply says

Trust.

It will not be until the Mishkan has been built, erected and the Clouds of Glory is Filling It that our leaving Egypt will finally be over. But I do not know this as I leave Egypt. I do not know at this time that I will soon see this Hashem's voice in front of me...so powerful so vibrant so persuasive so awesome...that I will simply cry from a joy I have never ever before experienced. I do not know at this time that we will survive on the manna that Hashem sends us, that we will celebrate Shabbos as free people and our spirits will soar unlike our spirits on Shabbos in Egypt. I do not know at this time that we will see miracle upon miracle upon miracle from this Hashem and we will still fail as a people when Moshe goes up the mountain and we lose sight of him, our leader who holds us together with his brother Aaron. We become afraid. And because we are new at trusting, we will lose our trust, even in Aaron, and become frightened beyond being frightened, I do not know any of this on the first day of my starting my journey...but then again....almost none of us know this on the first day we begin our journey to Hashem...from wherever we are in our tight narrow places.

...Blessed is The Holy One Who Takes Us Out Of Egypt Every Day...even though we may not recognize it...until later.

Chag v'Kasher Sameach. Shabbat Shalom....