Parashat Vayechi
Tevet 12, 5772 ~ January 7, 2012
Neska

In Honor of the Life of my Mother, Hannah bas Moshe st”l and my Uncle Edwin zt”L

And so (you will note that I begin this parsha with and...because it is a closed parsha with only a tiny space between the last one and this one; therefore the and....)
And so...I am living in Egypt
with all my family...with all my family
and Yosef
Can I tell you of my joy?
Can I describe my suddenly letting go of all my burdens?
of all my struggles
Even in the womb
Eisav and I struggled.
And even when Yosef was born - born from the love of my life
to became the love of my life
Even in those 17 years -
while I was the happiest I had ever been -
there was still struggling
the brothers were struggling – the brothers and I were struggling. much confusion.

And now, here I am, at the end of my 147 years =
finally living the last 17 of them
in a peace – in a joy...feeling a bit guilty that I have it so good....
But what can I do? I study and I live with my family
And my Yosef...my Yosef.

As I find out later, many Rabbis will criticize me for this joy of living.
I can't help it. If Hashem wants us to have pleasure – then this is mine.

Yes. I do see that my family is enjoying themselves as well. I can hear the laughter.
The comaraderie.
I sense that perhaps we are becoming too friendly, too close with the Egyptians.
Perhaps we are beginning to assimilate too easily into their culture, even though we live apart.
Perhaps I should talk with Yosef.
Perhaps when I ask him to vow to bury me in The Cave
perhaps I should suggest to him that the whole family stay in Ca'anan and not return here.
Even though I know the famine will begin again after I pass on
Perhaps the boys can bring enough food with them to stay in The Land and not return to Egypt
To stay in the land where they truly belong.
But as this parsha is a closed parsha, so are my eyes and mouth closed to suggesting this.
Perhaps Yosef will think of it on his own.

But Yosef does not think of it on his own. In fact, the Chasam Sofer states that after Ya'akov dies, and after Yosef tells his brothers that Hashem made all of this happen -
he does not talk to them again until the end of his life. And he never says “I forgive you”.

And so the family remains in galus. The Book of Family is done. The Book of The Nation is to begin. Could our birth have come about differently? Choice point. And we returned to Egypt.......Shabbat Shalom