Parsha Toldot
Cheshvan 28/ November 1
By: Diane Whitten-Vile
Even before they were born, the twins of this Parsha struggled in the womb. Yitzchak and Rivkah were married and like so many other women in the Torah, Rivkah was barren. The Torah tells us, Yitzchak prayed repeatedly (in a corner opposite of Rivkah) to allow Rivkah to conceive. Why did Yitzchak go to the corner to pray? Maybe Rivkah was not so concerned that she could not have children. Or maybe the reception was just better in that corner. “Can you hear me now?” Hashem heard his prayer and Rivkah conceived. While struggling in the womb, these two boys must have caused much pain. She said, “If the pain of pregnancy is so much, why did I want to be like this?” There are several interpretations of why the pain was so great, and exactly what Rivkah was saying here, but that is for a later D’var. At the term of her pregnancy, Rivkah indeed gave birth to twin boys. Not only were these two boys different in appearance, they also had different places in their parents’ affection.
Gen: 25:27-28 –“The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among tents. Yitzchak, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.” We know why Rivkah loved Jacob. While pregnant, she questioned Hashem about the pain. Paraphrasing, Hashem told her two kingdoms are inside of you, one will follow wickedness and one to innocence. The elder son will serve the younger son. It seems Hashem was saying the younger would carry forward the burden of history. But why did Yitzchak favor Esau? Didn’t he understand that Esau was wild and impestuous? Didn’t he know what Hashem had told Rivkah? Did Yitzchak love Esau just because he could “trap”? It is suggested that Esau knew how to trap, not just animals, but entrap others with his mouth. Esau asked his father “how should one tithe salt and straw”? Maybe this made Yitzchak think,
“Wow, he’s asking the right questions, he must be strictly observing the commandments.” Esau knew full well the answers to his questions. Rashi says the Midrashic explanation is “There was entrapment in the mouth of Esau, who trapped his father and deceived him by his words.” Some would say that Yitzchak loved Esau because he was unaware of just who Esau was, and how deceptive he could be. But there is another possibility, and that is that Yitzchak loved Esau precisely because he DID know who Esau was.
A man came to Rav Kook in the early 20th century and told Rav Kook, “I’ve given my son a good Jewish education, and I’ve done all I can do to raise a learned, observant, Jewish man. But now my son has strayed and is no longer observant. What as a parent should I do”? Rav Kook asked him, “Did you love your son when he was observant?” The man answered “of course,” and Rav Kook said to him, “then you must love him more now.” If you have two sons, and one of them is a mensch and the other one is likely to turn out badly, to which one should you give more time and attention? We know that Esau did show his father respect. He kept only his best clothes in readiness to serve his father; this is why Jacob was able to fool his father when Esau was away, by wearing those garments. So he saved his very best clothes to honor his father.
Later in the Torah Hashem forbids the Israelites to wage war against the descendants of Esau. Later still Moshe commands the Israelites: do not abhor the descendants of Esau for he is your brother. The sages understood both of these provisions as an enduring reward to Esau for the way he honored his father. Esau reciprocated his father’s love, but remained Esau, a man of the field, not the man to carry forward the commandments. Not all of our children will follow the path of their parents. So maybe Yitzchak loved Esau not blindly but with full knowledge that there would be times when his eldest son would give him grief. Maybe the Torah is telling us that loving our children no matter what they become is surely the way Hashem loves us.
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